The Accidental Stepford

Stepford - n. a married person who submits to their partner's will and is preoccupied by domestic concerns.

Help the homeless?

Beggars can’t be choosers bullies, or rather they shouldn’t be. I am very open to the idea of donating money to homeless charities, and am an occasional buyer of The Big Issue (let’s face it no one buys it to actually read it), but I resent people begging for short change - something I don’t carry generally, and would be suspicious about giving.

The homeless people that ask for change whilst sat on the floor, wrapped in cardboard to try to keep warm, I genuinely feel sorry for. I would like to give them change if I had it, but have grown up being told by teachers not to. We were always taught to give money to the charities helping the homeless rather than to the specific homeless people, I think because then you know the money is being used for the right reasons. Cynical? Very much so.

Last week I met the other kind of homeless person (twice) or in these cases “homeless” person. Whilst waiting for my bus to work in Birmingham a twitchy, angry guy came over and started talking to me. He asked me if I would help a homeless person if I saw one… then he asked if I would buy him a hot drink since it was such a cold day… so was he saying he was homeless? I assume so. His tone was threatening, and made me feel uncomfortable. I was not convinced he was homeless, and I was late for work. So I walked/ran away to a different bus stop. Cowardly move I know, but no one else was about and I was feeling like I was about to be mugged…

Whilst waiting for my bus home that night, a lady approached me to ask if I had any change. I assumed it was for the bus/ something else, and had to tell her that I didn’t carry change as I had a bus pass (true for the most part, I believe I had about 10p in change on me). She then asked if she could use my phone… what?? I told her that I didn’t want to give my phone to a stranger… she said she wouldn’t run off with it… well she would say that wouldn’t she? The bus arrived and I thought that would end things, but no. She had a frickin bus pass, so got on and proceeded to ask to borrow the phone of every person on the bus. No one did. I felt bad, but confused, and justified in my decision, as she could have taken the phone and run off with it…. I was about to tell her about dialling a reverse charge call at a phone box but didn’t.

The incidents made me feel unnerved and ashamed in equal measures. Maybe my actions were cynical and selfish, but I’m not sure I’d do anything differently if similar situations arose in the future.